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Self Injury Awareness Day



Today is an important day for me. I cannot remember if I have ever posted this before but I am a cutter. I have been one since ninth grade so for the past seven years. I have not cut in almost a year and I am proud of that. I still get the urge to do it everyday but as of yet I have not let myself do it. It was really not until two years ago that anyone else knew about it. I kept it a secret and I cut myself on my upper arms. Since I never take off my shirt of wear any shirt that is not at least half-length sleeves so no one could see the scares. I still am embarrassed by it but I have gotten to the point where I do speak out about my experience. The main reason that I broke my silence, so to speak, because I really got tired of all the shit I heard people saying about cutters. From research that I have done on the subject I found out that the statistic is that 1 in 10 people are self-harmers but more then 10% of the people I know well enough to even bring up this topic are cutters. Maybe I gravitate towards more self-destructive people but I personally believe that the statistic is wrong. I think the majority of the people who are self-harmers do not admit it. There is just too much of a stigma that people do not want to be associated with. For some reason people think that people who self-injure are suicidal or that they are crazy. I had people thinking I was weird enough why would I give them something else to pick on me about. So for years I just kept quiet about it. Do not get me wrong if I am just having a normal conversation with people there is no way in hell I will tell them but if we are having a serious discussion then I will tell them, because I feel that unless you self-harm or you know someone that self-harms then you cannot really understand why they do it. There are two main reasons I started self-harming, they both play off of each other. The first one was that I had some many different emotions that would build up inside of me I felt like I was going to grow crazy and I needed to get rid of them. I found that when I would cut myself I would be able to focus on something else besides what was going on inside of me and I would forget about it for a while. The second reason was I hated myself, and to be honest still do, so I really did not mind slicing my arm and if it made me forget how crappy I was feeling then I was all for it.

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Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
jackiesjunkie
Mar. 2nd, 2008 06:45 am (UTC)
I've known a few people who were cutters. I think you're right about the statistic being wrong by people not admitting to it.
scissorknot
Mar. 3rd, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I think just from the fact that I know there are four different types of self-injury that I know of the most common being cutting. But with anything that is secretive you really are not going to get an accurate.
ahavia
Mar. 2nd, 2008 06:51 am (UTC)
I just found out my daughter has been cutting.
Ahavia
scissorknot
Mar. 3rd, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
Has she opened up to you more than just that she cuts? I was just curious whether she is willing to talk about it.
rosybug
Mar. 2nd, 2008 02:51 pm (UTC)
This was a really interesting post, Don. Thank you for telling us - it can't have been easy.

If you've been researching SI for a while, you'd be in the ideal position to write an article about it to raise awareness in a magazine or somewhere appropriate.

I know some self harmers (and know of others). I get the impression that this is quite wide spread and I would like to understand more about it.
scissorknot
Mar. 6th, 2008 06:36 am (UTC)
A really good and informative site is http://www.selfharmony.co.uk
beggarsfarm
Mar. 2nd, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
I think it takes great bravery to tell of something so personal, and I agree with one of your other comments on this post that you would be an excellent person to raise awareness and educate others on self-injury in order to combat stereotyping.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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