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So I was having a decent day until someone made a comment about "How bad it was that I had been single for so long." They were talking about relationships and against my better judgment I participated in the conversation. I should have stayed out because all the conversation did was piss me off. When the fuck did it become a bad thing to be single? I told them I have been single for almost four years now and I got looks from a few people like I told them my dog was ran over in front of me or something. Then the aforementioned comment was made. I really do not get what the fuck the big deal is with being relationship. How the fuck is I lesser of a person because I do not date? I remember some one saying something about now nice it is to have someone there for you when you are feeling down. I am sure that is real nice to have some one to comfort you when you are feeling like shit, but if that was the case with me, then they would spend all of their fucking time trying to cheer me up because I am a very melancholy person. Plus the hurt that come when the relationship ends. Personally the joy that comes with a relationship is heavily out weighed by the hurt. I really wish people would fuck off with their annoying as sympathy. You know what I feel sorry that you have to validate you existence through someone else. It just fucking pisses me off that people feel “sorry” for me when I am happy by myself. Sure there are times that I wish I did have someone to hold me and nights when I just feel like crying myself to sleep. But in the long run I value the strength that I get from taking care of things of myself instead of relying on others for it. I do not know why this made me think of this quote but last week I was watching a really good movie called Next Stop Wonderland. The female main character was narrating and she said something that really stuck with me. She was talking about sitting in a bar by herself it went something like this. “When I am sitting in a bar alone or at my house I am not alone. It is not until I get on the subway or go to a party with lots of people that I feel alone.” This really has nothing to do with me not dating but it kind of fits in whit me wanting to be single.

 

Note: I will probably edit/delete this later when I have calmed down. Right now I am really annoyed and pissed off. When I calm down and my common sense returns I will realize what a dick I am being. But right now I do now care. I just needed to get this shit out of my head before it starts eating at me. And it is much easier for me to type my feelings then speak them to people.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
jackiesjunkie
Apr. 5th, 2007 06:53 am (UTC)
Dude, some people just don't get that not everyone HAS to have someone constantly in their lives. I've had that "alone in a crowd" feeling and let me tell ya, I'd rather be alone by myself. If you're cool with being single, that's your choice. Live your life for you, not for everyone else. As Keller would say to your "sympathetic" friends, Fuck you, ya fuck.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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